I'm a Total Loser Because...
My whole life has sucked, I'm 23. Never graduated from high school, parents seperated when I was 9. My dad was a drug addict & was never there. I was sexually abused by many men when I was a little girl. Got beaten by my step dad when I was a little girl. Never had friends. I'm unhapilly married now to a man that does nothing but make me feel more like a loser, he's the complete opposite of me. College graduare, many friends. I have a daughter which I shouldn't have had cause I'm a loser & very unfit to be a mother. I feel like I just brought her into this world to have a messed up life like I did. I can't do crap to my hair! I have suicidal thoughts, all I've ever been told is how much of a loser I am, I'm crying right now. I have no contact with any family cause I lost all contact with them. I live with my in laws who I don't like I have yellow gross teeth because I'm too lazy to ever brush them or care & my daughter is starting to have yellow teeth to, no job no nothing just a crappy life & that's it! Just a big loser
I'm a total loser because...
My first love and only boyfriend raped me.
I am still ugly. No matter how much weight I lose.
I start every SHORT conversation with every one of my "friends" unless one happens to ask "want to fuck?"
I freaked out for the first time about a friend fading and just looked like a crazy person. I'll never ask another to stay.. They never do anyway. Not really.
The only time people act genuinely interested is when they genuinely want something from me.
I can’t remember a friendship in which I wasn’t disappointed for investing too much of myself.
Sometimes I don’t want to be here anymore. Not to say I’m suicidal, I’m not at all. there are people here who need me and even if I lose them (knock on wood) I was put here to do something.
And even if no one loves really.. Even for ever what gives me the right not make this world a better place. I could have been a fucking rock. I just wish when someone was pretending to care about me they weren't pretending.
So i am 23! Graduate.
No job. No social life. Have "friends" who hardly talk to me.
Never had a boyfriend.
Parents love me but they are also fed up and annoyed with me coz of all my failure.
Even the celebs i like start failing in no time lol
All most everyone taunt or insult me.
I am just tired being failure at every damn thing.
Like anything that makes me happy gets ruined in no time which makes me feel that god doesn't want me to be happy!
I'm a 16 year old girl in highschool. I'm not friendless but I live constantly in the fear that my friends will ditch like all the others did. I am no good at making friends. People never understand when I say something, because my I sound like Kim Kardashian and I'm very quiet. everybody makes fun of it. They imitate me. I suck it up and have a tough hide on the outside, or so it seems because the minute I am alone, I'm in tears.
A famous singer once came to perform at my school. When I asked him to let me have a picture with him, he imitated and made fun of me. That lump in my throat reappeared because no matter WHAT, the voice taunt hits me in the chest everytime and sure I got used to people at school jeering at me for it, I didn't expect it from someone like a celebrity. But I was naive to think that.
I started getting attention from a lot of boys in the tenth grade. It's the 11th now and I haven't had one yet. Which I know is very petty to be upset about, but since talking to people never worked, all I had was my looks to go on, and now that's deterioting too. I had depression in the summer because of which I grew pale, skinny, and my hair grew dry and damaged. I'm still recovering, but I guess the one thing I had left to last me in this cruel world were my looks. And now that's gone too.
I had a crush on a guy in my grade. But when I got a friend to tell him, he didn't even come to talk to me. He just told my friend he wasn't single. Now everytime he walks by, all he does is eyeball me, and he's probably thinking of how lame and pathetic I am to have asked someone so out of her league. The type of girl he would hang out with are the perfect hair, perfect skin, expensive clothes, attitude and style. I am just not good enough.
When I found out he wasn't single, my friend told me that he had a crush on me. He was a grade younger. At that time, over a year ago, I fell in love and didn't care. But now things are rocky between us and I feel embarrassed to have him as a boyfriend because he's younger. I find myself still thinking about the guy who rejected me. I just can't understand why. Is it my voice? I always liked my voice and I got used to the insults. But it's getting too much. I wouldn't think of suiciding. But I sure as hell want home schooling instead. People are CRUEL.
Yeah, this is pretty long. I've got plenty of more reasons why, but maybe some other time.
Right now, I'd rather just share this and let others in my position not feel alone.
Where to start ? I am 34 years old. I am from India. My life is pretty fucked up. My entire life, not just for 10 years or 20 years, my whole life. I thought of suicide two years ago, not any more, but my condition has not improved.
I was very very shy, arrogant, day dreaming person you can imagine. I could not speak a word any one in any situation, except my parents and siblings. I lack imagination. When I meet my closest friend I don't have words to say. I never talked to a girl. Even if I get over shy in rare cases I am total arrogant. I day dream of being a perfect human, nothing less than god. If some one insults me (which happens quite often due to my weird nature of interaction with my friends) I smile because I cannot cry openly, I cannot cry secretly either because of imagined super hero i am. I think and think for days or weeks or months. I cannot sleep, afraid of bullying from friends. My school and college were hell.
Now I am working since 6 years, there is great chance of promotion but cannot help my self to to write few simple exams. I am always anxious and stresses for nothing. I can't sleep at night. My whole day is lost. I don't remember having good sleep or good laugh.
My friends try to call, but I always keep them away. I don't look at my Facebook or return calls. Every body have up on me.