I used to be a research scholar a few years back......was doing my PhD. Was working in a reputed NGO in India. I used to have a lavish life, lots of money coming from the projects funded by international funding agencies.... Used to visit foreign countries like US, China, Sri Lanka. Used to attend page-3 parties with foreign delegates during meetings and workshops. However, I had lots of personal problems. I hd poor communication skills, language problem particularly in spoken english. I was a completely maladjusted, introvert person, shy and talk very less putting the impression on others that I am arrogant. Also I am a dull, very emotional person. I lack smartness and most importantly I am an expert without knowledge. I had inferiority complex. I could not adjust in to such an high profile status in my professional life as I was from a lower middle class family. My dream was to do PhD. And now, after getting the Dr. degree I felt like I have achieved my dreams in life.....I have no dreams now, I am a dreamless and hopeless person.....I left the NGO in search of Govt. Job...... was unemploed for complete one year.......then somehow managed to get a small job......and now living a life that has nothing to lose and nothing to gain........ No girl likes me. Used to have a girlfriend who left me when I opened my mind to her. I feel, I am a complete loser....hopeless guy....I am a live deadbody........
I'm a Total Loser Because...
I'm such a omplete an utter tool. I feel useless to everyone around me. I listen to them talk about their lives & issues, but when I start talking about myself, no one wants to hear. They get impatient. So I stay quiet. I used to have friends where we would confide in each other but they're all gone. Maybe I drove them away, they found better friends & lives. I'm weird, ugly, stupid and useless. I hardly have anything to do at work because other people do it better. I get their scraps. I'm too stupid to get more work. I don't know why I have a job. I'm so ugly no one wants to look at me - I don't want to look at me. I wish I could have a heart attack but I'm healthy, damnit. I'm so tired of always working, working, working, doing things for other people yet no one notices me back. Because I'm so ugly and stupid. And quiet. What's the point in talking when no one wants to listen?
I wish I could cut myself or smack my face. I want to hurt myself but I don't want marks that others can see so I hurt myself on the inside. I'm too afraid to talk to my doctor or a counselor because I'm afraid they will put me on antidepressants. I feel like I'm just existing most of the time.
I have a friend that lives far away & we write on Facebook. I told her yesterday that I had cried twice before a meeting, where my work got critqued in front of everyone and was close to tears again. She veered around that like it was a dead animal in the road. She never wants to hear my problems. I guess it's a good thing she lives far away. Sadly, though, she's the only person I can confide in. Yet she offers no sympathy or even a "listening ear". Most likely because I'm such a loser and she doesn't have time for that.
I wish so hard that my kids don't turn out like me. I have to put a happy face on for them and my husband all the time. I'm afraid of looking for someone to talk to anyway because I don't want them to know what a loser I am or what I think I am. I have to keep suffering in silence all the time and I feel like I just want to explode sometimes. Yet I can't. I have to keep it all together all the time.
I am an emotional cripple in an able-bodied world. Everyone else has friends and confidantes and I have no one. My husband thinks counseling is weird. I feel so lonely all the time and so terribly alone yet I'm such a complete and utter loser that I can't blame anyone for leaving me alone like the piece of garbage I am.
Im back again, Just an update....Im still a worthless piece of shit and i wished i was dead but im so much of a loser im too gutless to even do that...how much of a loser can one be. Anyway i'll fuck off now and continue my life of being a piece of shit loser.....I assume i'll be back
from my birth to till now I didn't get anything.
I always expected my life to be bigger and exciting but it always been ruined and became monotonous. What I want to study in my life but I didn't able to do that. I always want to do a good job but I never got a single one. Trying for competitive but that also is not going well. Theee is a hue koan on me too.
what should I do expect suicide. ?
not only this, I am so bad looking guy too.. I am short fat ugly. I am a guy who have 0% luck favouring him..
A Total Loser !!
complete LOSER !!
No one loves me too .
Just a update...I am such a loser I tell myself all day, and all night...How much of a loser I am...
Do we ever get used to losing at everything and never winning?
Ths week even though I know better.... I got a real harsh rejection, I mean women get angry when all I am guilty of is being attracted to them.
I did finally figure out that if I want a women to enjoy flowers I give them, I can't let her find out they are from me.
Being homelss living out of my car, I got messed with by a cop. Car and pooch impounded. I actually sort of stole some money to get me car back and my puppy back. Not sure what is going to happen at court, I have a list of seemingly unrelated charges against me a mile long.
I would like to know, why I am good enough to be a "friend" but never good enough to be a lover. PS: Friend means women take my help, my money, my possesions, ect..ect.. And never have to give anything back.
For the sake of my puppy, I sure hope I can stay out of jail. I did not know it til recently, but in many municipalities it is actually illeagal to be homeless. I mean like laws on the books passsed by city councils.
I am sure there is more loser evidence I could post scince my last post post, but I'll sign off. Til next time, same loser time, same loser channel.
PS: I did meat a female that claimed to be nearly the same sort of loser I am. So what did I do? I asked her out. What did she do? Tore me a new asshole being so cruel about why she would never give me the time of day. Thus proven, I was surely the real loser between the two of us.
People don't bother about me because i am too ugly.I even don't know how to speak good english beacuse i am an indian.My skin is black so people mock with me beacuse indian people are racist.Even i am a racist thats why such things bother me when people make fun.
I am a total loser :)
I'm a craptastic loser. A world class loser. I got nothing similar to an acceptable life. No job, no friends/girlfriends. No money, no car, no place to call home. Ugly, stupid, ignorant, idiot, disqualified, with a ridiculous behavior who stays at the parent's home 99% of the time just avoiding to talk to anyone, and I'm not a kid anymore. I hate pretty much everyone I ever met. I'm totally a misanthrope, But being alone doesn't hurt anymore as I accepted the fate I'm not even close to a normal person. I lost my dignity a long time ago, and since then life gone worse but I can't really feel it. I mean, I can see the shit is all around but I can't smell it - or - I don't care anymore. I know people laugh at my situation, but I laugh along... I'm an embrassment to my family for I don't act like I care about been throwing this life away. I gave up and now I just wait the day of my death. I should kill myself, I know, but I'm unable to do that too, of course: a major loser can never do such a favor to the world. Once I hate everyone/everything, there's no reason to worry about anything, so I've been drinking a lot at the weekends and I hope I'll end up really sick and eventually dead by cirrhosis or whatever, kind of a collateral suicide, as I can't do it the regular way.
"Every single day I'm still alive I've been cheating"