I'm a Total Loser Because...

NAME: baylee tate 

AGE: 13

ABOUT ME: well what ever losser is going to read this and LISTEN here's 10  things you should know about me 

THING 1: i'am such lonner my i only have four friends on facebook my mom my dad my grandma my grandad.

THING 2: i have NO FRIENDS what so ever. 

THING 3: i practicly live in the school libary when i'm there in the couner on my black berry.

THING 4: i got punched in the face by guy who sits next to me in class because i type to fast.

THING 5: i regualy sit on my bed and play stardoll on laptop for eight hours.

THING 6 i live in my room with my cat muphray. 

THING 7: my closest friend is my blackberry.

THING 8 : and once  when i was 5 in perschool i went out with this girl named susie and she was like i think you love your mom's phone more than me and so i dumped her?

THING 8: i have the worlds best mom ever she help's me get thougth stuff easy like the time i got bulled so much i got hit in the head by a rock ouch (-__-).

THING 9: i live on my macbook all day every day.

THING 10: i love reece mastin that much i kissed him a kotara (-_-) 

and that took two minutes and 54 secounds 

Today my friend discribed my personality.

He said "your like rain nobody wants you around and you ruin peoples days".

The problem, i dont think he was joking

I have a bad habit of speaking before any filter can get in the way to prevent me or slow me down.

Exhibit#1, from my college years:

Me: Hey, I haven't seen you in a week or so. Where have you been?

Buddy: Oh, I had to go home for a while. My dad has this trial going and I had to testify.

Me: Really? Awesome. ~trying to be funny~ So, who did he kill, anyway?

Buddy: ...

Me: ~noting awkward silence~

Buddy: ...well, they say he killed his secretary.

This is why I suck as a friend.

Well I was talking to my friends. I had my lanyard (which is connected to several pointy and hurtful objects like car keys) tied to one of my belt loops and I was twisting my body and swinging my arms while slinging the lanyard around because at the time I thought it was fun. Well soon enough, that lanyard swung around and hit me in the apricots. I fell to the ground in agony as the pain of the horrible falcon punch my lanyard decided to throw at me, consumed my whole frikin' body. My friends laughed and I... well was NOT laughing. True story... I'm such a loser. XD

Being a small, agile athlete was the reason I was picked to play the running back for our Powder-Puff football team during Junior-Senior War Week in high school.

I practiced for weeks, memorized plays, and was pumped for the game.

Game day.  The stands were packed.  Our flags were fastened.  Our cheerleaders were screaming.

Note: Guys should NEVER wear cheer outfits. Ever.

We, the under-dog Juniors, came out fighting.  We were making plays and scoring points.

The end of the game was creeping up on us.  We were down and needed to score.

"Give me the ball", I told our quarterback.

On a dive-right, the quarterback handed off the ball and I tore through the line.  I made it just inched from the goal line and hear the crowd cheer!  I turn around and walk back to the huddle as the crowd continues to yell.  The cheering is pumping me up.  I want to keep playing.  The time is ticking and we need to score.

Is that laughter? Is the crowd laughing?

I see my team mates running toward me and my coach taking his shirt off from the sidelines and running toward me.

What is going on?

Someone in the distance yells, "YOUR ASS!!"

I reach back to feel that more than just my flag was pulled.  My spandex volleyball shorts were ripped from the top seam to the bottom seam in the crotch.  There, displayed for the entire school of thousands were my bare ass cheeks.

I am frozen in the middle of the field as my coach reaches me and wraps his shirt around my waist.

He may have covered me in that moment, but the damage was already done.

The best part was getting to look the principal in the face for the rest of my high school career. He was the referee.

Im a loser because Im 22 years old and I havent gotten any "action" from the opposite sex in almost 2 years.  Not a date, not a glance, no flirting, no kiss, no sex, no NOTHING.  Im a decently attractive guy you know. Ive actually been called "hot" on mulitple occasions (definitely not trying to brag though).  I'm also a pretty smart guy and I can be very interesting, funny, fun, and spontaneous, Yet when it comes to women I'm just HORRIBLE at makin moves and what not.  If women were to have an internal radar system showing guys they might be interested in as blips on it, I would not even be there. Im invisible to em.  Im also a loser because i got drunk last night and got into a fight with my ex girlfriend(from 2 years ago) about stuff that happened between us a looong time ago, and unintentionally made it look like i still have issues with her breaking up with me all that time ago. So basically I just made myself look really lame and gave her ego a boost.  I mean come on, after 2 years of being broken up with some chick, if I were to still be trippen on stuff like that, it would be pathetic. So for the record, no I dont have issues with it, but the point is that I made it look like I do. And THATS why I feel like a loser right now. Oh, and finally, I'm a loser because I just joined this website.  This takes the cake.