I Have Nothing Going For Me
Hello, I'm a 20 year old female with no future. Just to summarize, I have been dropped from 2 colleges. One being a community college and the other a technical school. All you need to do to get into those schools is to graduate high school. That's how easy they are and I couldn't even keep my pathetic self together to complete those. I have no job and I still live with my mother and grandmother who both think I'm a failure anyways. I used to get straight As, but now I can't even get myself to show up to class. I don't know what interests me. I don't think anything does. I also don't know how to drive and don't have a license so I have to walk everywhere or get my mother to drive me. I'm so useless. I do have a boyfriend, but I'm so fat and ugly, I don't think I've ever NOT seen him check out any woman that walks his way. I can't make any man love me for me instead of spreading my legs to them. I don't really know what love is or how to act. I sit in my room and sleep about 16 hours a day and just stare at the wall or watch t.v. the other 8 hours. I have no friends because they all go out drinking or partying and I have no money or a car and they think I am boring so I obviously get left behind. When asking anyone to help me or just listen to me they just sit there, listen, nod, and change the subject. Maybe I just complain too much. I am a pitiful loser after all. When asking my mother if there is any chance I might have bipolar disorder or depression she replies with "no, you just complain a lot. get a hobby" I think she is right. Here, at home, I am not really aloud to leave. I am, but I will be ignored an "forgotten" if I do so. I am to be home every night to have the kitchen, dining room, and my room cleaned. I must also have dishes for 6 people washed all night and the fridge emptied every night. I do as I am told because it's the only time I get any compliments from them... if I am lucky. Cleaning for them is all I am good at.